Welcome! Welcome to this blog! Welcome to the internet! and Welcome to America! NO! not the super continent! not the damn tectonic plate, the country! It has become abundantly clear that some people have forgotten where the hell they are!
I walked up a flight of stairs today, singing to myself, enjoying fleeting sips of a warm "Hammerhead Coffee". On my way up I was faced with two middle-aged gents of european decent. Judging by the accent, the man speaking was likely from Spain or one of those other "We can make out and its totally not gay" countries.
As they descended the staircase in front of me, we had a brief and courteous moment of "Ok fine, you exist" eye contact. I stepped politely to my right, expecting the two middle-age boys to file into a single line and yet... no. The spanish bastard walked on, discussing with his friend what I can only assume was something to do with killing farm animals for entertainment back home. The men walked side by side down the narrow stairwell, dominating all three-dimensional space before them.
I did what any self-respecting American would do in such a situation. I stood, centered at the base of the steps, staring in awe up at them. Then I ratiocinated away my hesitations. I let out a firm american "OK" and marched up the stairs.
With more than half of the set of stairs to go, the pond-hopping, accent having, stair hogging bitch snapped his head my way, almost in horror. Was I going to hit him with my body accidentally, make a rude comment, and disappear? Or would he move politely like the submissive douche he should have been parented into in the first place? Only he could decide.
Lucky for him, the Spaniards of the last generation wanted their children to perform chores, and take naps, cuz he moved. That escapist friend of his was also noticeably shocked as Senior Spain nearly stepped into him to make room for me. Ahh America, where being a douchebag is met with equally fierce douchebaggery.
Leave it to the europeans to not expect you to acknowledge their right to dominate hallways.
And these uppitty bastards won the Cup
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